Pastoral Care for the Pastor
by Steve
Johnson
Who Provides Pastoral Care for the Pastor?
“Pastor, can I stop by your
office and talk with you?” Those of us who serve as pastors have all received
phone calls that begin with a similar question, and each time we know that we
are about to assume the role of a “counselor.” It is part of our calling as
caring shepherds. We want to help, and we do our best to offer sound Biblical
counsel. Sometimes we get to experience the joy of knowing that we have given encouragement
to a person who is hurting. Other times the problems run deeper, and not all of
us feel adequately equipped to deal with the complex human issues that confront
us. At such times we are not too arrogant to refer the person to a professional
counselor who is better skilled in dealing with certain problems.
But we are still pastors.
The burden of our hearts is to shepherd our flock, sharing their joys; their
hurts; easing their burdens; and helping them in their struggles. We sit beside
them or across the desk and listen to their stories of abuse, or loneliness, or
stress, or marital infidelity, or financial trouble, or conflicts in the family
or on the job. We deal with the distressed, the disillusioned, the dejected,
and the depressed. Our goal is to open the Scriptures and help restore their
faith, hope, and joy. We know that life can be hard for human beings, including
Christians. So when our people need a counselor to talk to we want to be there
to provide a listening ear and pastoral care because they need it.
But what about the times
when the pastor needs pastoral care? What if the shepherd needs shepherding or
the counselor needs counsel? Are we pastors so infallible that we never
experience distress, disillusionment, dejection, or depression? Do we exist on
a level above the human condition so that we never struggle with loneliness,
stress, conflict, anger, or temptation?
Consider the following
results of a survey of pastors conducted by the Fuller Institute of Church
Growth:
- 80%
believe that pastoral ministry is affecting their family negatively
- 33%
say that being in ministry is clearly a hazard to their family
- 75%
have reported a significant crisis due to stress at least once every five
years in their ministry
- 50%
feel unable to meet the needs of the job
- 90%
feel they were not adequately trained to cope with the ministry demands
placed upon them
- 40%
report having a serious conflict with a parishioner at least once a month
- 37%
have been involved in inappropriate sexual behavior with someone in the
church
- 70%
have a lower self-image since they have pastored than when they started
Those are alarming
statistics. And what makes these findings even more disturbing is that the
survey, like most others, was probably conducted confidentially. That means
that the pastors who responded are very likely struggling in secret. When
members of our congregation are struggling with serious life issues we expect
them to get help, because we know that if their condition continues unchecked
it will lead to more serious trouble. So why should it be any different for a
pastor? It shouldn’t be. The pastor’s need for pastoral care must not be
ignored or neglected. It should be respected by both the pastor and the
congregation, and a plan should be in place to help him stay healthy and
strong.
The
Pastor's Responsibility for His Own Pastoral Care
The plan begins with the pastor himself (Acts 20:28). Our greatest
success is to finish the work God has called us to do. But every pastor has to
realize his own vulnerability. Stress and burnout are not phantom conditions.
They are very real risks that come with the rigors of pastoral ministry, and
unless specific disciplines are practiced and preventative safeguards are in
place there can be serious consequences for the pastor’s health, his family,
and his ministry. Here are a few suggestions that can help a pastor reduce the
risk:
- Spend
adequate time alone with the Lord in prayer, meditation, and personal
Bible reading
(not just for sermon preparation). It is also helpful to express thoughts,
feelings, or prayers in a personal journal. The Psalms reveal how David
understood the value of releasing the distresses of his mind through the
pen in his hand.
- Avoid
isolation.
Every pastor needs friends, even within his church, with whom he can have
fun and do “guy things.” It is also important to have at least one close
friend, within or outside the church, whom he can confide in and with whom
he can share his innermost struggles and feelings. This needs to be a
person who understands him, who will not judge him, and especially one who
will keep private matters confidential. Like David, every man needs a
Jonathan in his life (Prov. 17:17; 18:24; Eccl. 4:10).
- Have
a hobby.
Pastors need a “diversion,” an activity that removes their minds and
bodies from the pressures of ministry for a time in order to relieve the
mental and emotional stress.
- Manage
time well.
Pastors have the luxury of keeping a relatively “fluid” schedule, but they
can also put undue pressure on themselves if they aren’t disciplined with
their time. It becomes necessary to prioritize pastoral responsibilities
according to essentials. This helps avoid getting stressed out by trying
to accomplish more than time allows. But be certain to reserve adequate
and undisturbed hours for study and sermon preparation.
- Set
realistic life goals and work toward them. God does not
want His servants to become bogged down in the mundane, distracted by the
petty, or worn out by mere busyness. He wants His shepherds to accomplish
something of kingdom significance (Acts 20:24; 1 Cor. 1:1-9).
- Seek
counsel if necessary. If a pastor is suffering from
the symptoms of stress, burnout, depression, or other negative conditions,
he needs get help, preferably from a qualified Biblical counselor. There
is no shame in seeking help (Prov. 24:6). Pride comes before a fall.
The
Church's Responsibility for Pastoral Care
The local church, beginning with the Board, needs to recognize
their own responsibility in protecting the mental, emotional, and spiritual
health of their pastor.
- The
budget should include provision for him to attend one or two conferences
or retreats each year where he can find refreshment and
renewal. This should be in addition to his regular vacation time, not part
of it.
- Respect
his study time.
Apart from an emergency, he should be allowed to have undisturbed blocks
of time to prepare for preaching and teaching. If he is weak in the pulpit
the whole church will suffer.
- Don’t
demand more from the pastor than he can give. He is human
and imperfect. He needs your prayers and encouragement as much as you need
his. Understand that he can’t please everyone, and sometimes the person he
won’t please will be you!
- Consider
granting the pastor a sabbatical. This is not as common among
independent churches as it is in denominations, but it is growing in
practice. Every seven to ten years the pastor should be offered a paid
leave of ten to twelve weeks (not including regular vacation time) to seek
spiritual and mental refreshment, do research or writing, travel, or
pursue other activities that will “disconnect” him for a time from the
routine demands of ministry and provide him a time for renewal. Even Jesus
realized the importance of stepping away from the ministry for a time.
Pastoral ministry is
rewarding. But it is also rigorous. And even Satan knows that the church will
only be as spiritually healthy as its pastor. That is why he wants to keep
pastors discouraged, ineffective, feeling like failures, and, if possible,
utterly destroyed. But God is the great Encourager. He encourages pastors by
His Word and by the support and love expressed to them by individual Christians
(Acts 28:15; 2 Tim. 1:16-18). And that is why pastoral care for the pastor must
be seen as an essential responsibility shared by both pastor and congregation.
The result will be a healthy and blessed church.
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